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Faces of hate

Cross-posted at Pam's House Blend as a follow up to the committee hearing liveblog

So today was the Hawaii State Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on HB444 HD1, a bill for Civil Unions.

I really shouldn't have gone, for the sake of my own health and personal sanity, but I couldn't stay away. (1) It's important to show support. Can't have all those bused-in church ladies in red shirts stealing the show. Even though they did. (2) I promised Pam, blogmistress of, that I would liveblog the hearing. Turns out I've been the national-level GLBT blog voice of Hawaii on this issue. Go me.

So, despite the concussion, the neck sprain, and barely 6 hours of sleep, I finagled a ride down to the Capitol from someone coming from North Shore who was able to stop by and pick me up.

For anyone who wants to read my accounting of the proceedings, go to my diary at Pam's.


You know, it gets really tiresome to be called diseased and a pedophile and a rapist and an abomination and a threat to America three dozen times in one day. It infuriates me to hear that yes, heterosexuals have special rights (at least they admitted it finally!) and that is how it should be because The Big Book of Bronze Age Fairy Tales says so. To hear little old ladies screaming that they would rather see their grandchildren commit suicide than "be part of that disgusting, filthy, evil lifestyle", isn't even remotely amusing anymore.

Even better is to, due to the concussion headache beginning to blind me, forget to take off my little green and gold "equality" sticker on the way out of the building, and be followed to the bus stop by a bunch of red shirts with signs. Three 6'5", 200 pound Islander guys with signs saying "Gay marriage is wrong" and "John 3:16" followed the lone little white girl with her laptop case across the street, yelling at me, "Repent!", calling me a bitch and a whore, telling me, "You just need a real man to fuck you straight." Nothing I haven't heard before.

Then one of them said, "We know who you are now, and what you drive. We saw you last Thursday. You better watch yourself, fucking haole bitch." Not one of the 20 people standing around the bus stop said anything to them.

I got on the first bus that came along, got off three stops down the street, and caught my right bus a few minutes later. I rode home all alone, with my headphones on, praying no one bothered me.

I don't want to ever hear another fake apology from these people saying that they don't actually hate queers, they're just "protecting traditional marriage". It's just the latest lie in their christian hate grab bag.

EDIT: Since apparently this got posted at Joe.My.God. (HOW???), and most people reading this haven't been following my coverage, here's a note to clear up the confusion. Posted in the comments at Joe's:

For those who are confused by "know what you drive comment" and the bus, you skipped over the "we saw you last Thursday" comment. Thursday, the day of the House vote on HB444, I drove to the Capitol and parked in the garage. That was the first day that the Red Shirts had come out in force. After the vote was finished, several of us hung around in rotunda to talk. When I left to get my car and drive home, I left alone. We were all wearing the green and gold equality stickers, so we were easily identifiable as supporters. I did notice a few of the Red Shirts in the parking garage near me, but didn't think anything of it. Maybe they took photos of my license plate; it wouldn't surprise me.

I took the Bus to the capitol on Tuesday because I had been rearended the day before and couldn't drive. Please see the liveblog for details of the accident and concussion headache. Hence the bus. Sorry, no Ashley Todd drama here. Just a gross mixture of hate, bad luck, and a couple of thugs who get their jollies intimidating women.

Do I honestly think that these people would take the time and effort to track me down via my license plate and hurt me? No. Am I easily identifiable in this crowd? Hell, yes. Lone white girl carrying a laptop with an equality sticker on it? According to a friend, one of the papers mentioned me specifically as the live blogger for the hearings. My picture has been in the group shots published in the Advertiser and Star Bulletin. I'm easily identifiable, and therefore an easy target for asshattery. What have we learned? Don't go out alone when the Red Shirts are around. Use the buddy system.



( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 25th, 2009 07:41 am (UTC)
Love the sinner, hate the sin, MY FUCKING ARSE.
That's all I have to say.
Feb. 25th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
You might find this interesting...
Here's an article that brought me back... I remember some of these people (though from the outside, as it were.) This link is to a summary -- they're making people register to read the whole thing.

Yes, there really was a time when women who weren't actually all that attracted to women were identifying as lesbians for political reasons. I even remember listening to an hours-long discussion about the possibility of cloning as a way to dispense with men.
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
My two cents is that nobody should have to deny their sexual nature in order to make political points, any more than they should have to do so to conform with the mainstream culture.

A good friend of mine who is bisexual and calls herself "queer" has nothing nice to say about "political lesbians." She doesn't want any sort of romantic involvement with women who aren't attracted to other women, just going through the motions to prove something to themselves and to others.

I have to agree. It's using another person. And it's reminiscent of privileged white boho kids who "slum" with the poor and/or people of color, co-opting their lifestyles, until life becomes too difficult and then they go running back to daddy.

Beyond that, I have no liking for women who actually want to dispense with men entirely. There's a word for that, and it's eliminationism. There are plenty of good men out there, and if the culture could be changed, there would be even more. I'm going to guess that these are the same "wymyn" who violently repudiate transwomen for having genotype XY.

(edited for grammar, clarity, and additional thought)

Edited at 2009-02-25 04:28 pm (UTC)
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
Do not get me started.
All I will say is, yes, it's sexual slumming. It's playing at being queer. Cos if the whole dyke thing doesn't work out, they can always go back to men - but genuine dykes don't have that choice. It's also giving fundies ammunition by reinforcing the notion that being gay is a choice.
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
Or fuckers that think Bisexual= you have two lovers at the same time. One male, one female or UR JUST ACTING

I actually got asked the other day if I was bisexual how come I didn't have a gf- uh...because I'm not currently in love with a woman? People are so fucking stupid.

Funny how no one ever asks me that about the male side. Or rather, no one ever asks you about things if they assume you are completely straight.

Edited at 2009-02-25 06:54 pm (UTC)
Feb. 25th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
The article is referring back to a time (early 70s) when the possibility of transgendered people being able to have reassignment surgery or even hormone treatments, etc. almost didn't exist. Hell, the Pill was brandy-spandy new. I think there'd been two well-known reassignment surgeries in the whole world. So, dissing transwomen for being XY would have been kind of hard... not that some of the Van Dykes might not have done it.

And perhaps I should move this to my own journal -- I jus thought it was interesting given the present struggle to see some of the past ones.
I don't disagree with you as to the basic point about honesty above all, especially in relationships. It was a very wierd (but I think necessary) time in the growing-up of feminism to the point where we could allow each other to be different and still all be feminists.

Edited at 2009-02-25 09:45 pm (UTC)
Feb. 25th, 2009 10:02 pm (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
when the possibility of transgendered people being able to have reassignment surgery or even hormone treatments, etc. almost didn't exist...So, dissing transwomen for being XY would have been kind of hard...

True. To be fair, I was conflating the separatists of yesteryear with certain radical feminists of today. There are those among the latter who are incredibly gender-essentialist — for example, they believe that conceiving and giving birth confers upon women superiority to men, and that for a woman to not reproduce is to de-sex herself. (One such radfem once called me, a childfree woman, a "eunuch.") These types are very hostile to the TG, and as vocal as any fundie about not wanting transwomen in public bathrooms with them. I would link you to a blogpost on the matter that I saw recently, but that blog is not always SFW and I am at work.

Despite the fact that my mother subscribed to Ms. magazine when I was a kid in the 70s, and I read each issue (she never monitored my reading), I am not as familiar as I could be with the intricate politics between het women, lesbians, and bi women during that time. The same queer friend quoted above, however, tells me that quite a few straight feminists were hostile toward gays and lesbians. Which is ironic, considering that many wanted to be lesbians.

It was a very wierd (but I think necessary) time in the growing-up of feminism to the point where we could allow each other to be different and still all be feminists.

It sounds to me as though a lot of feminists back then were more than happy to insult and bully women whose sexualities disturbed them in some way — not unlike many radfems who still do. (Ask K-chan about that sometime if you want an earful.) The political lesbians sound to me as though they wanted to co-opt said women's sexualities, which is still troublesome.

It's possible that this phase was inevitable, but I'm not sure how necessary it was.

Hell, the Pill was brandy-spandy new.

The Pill was approved in the U.S. in 1960, although IIRC it took a few years before unmarried women got the right to use it.
Feb. 26th, 2009 03:27 am (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
The Pill was approved in the U.S. in 1960, although IIRC it took a few years before unmarried women got the right to use it.

And in MA (where I live), up to 1971, even married women couldn't get any contraception without a doctor or pharmacist being involved. How things do change. These days, the condoms are on display in the supermarket, right next to the baby diapers. Gotta love that marketing!

It does make me sad that we end up re-fighting the same battles. I remember the argument about Real Women Bear Children, and it struck me as bosh in 1973. For one thing, it was just what the men said. I'm a mom, and soon to be a granny, but I don't expect the whole world to be like me.

The great thing is to never let anyone claim your voice as theirs.
Feb. 26th, 2009 03:36 am (UTC)
Re: You might find this interesting...
Ah, Massachusetts. Nowhere near as "liberal" as it likes to make itself out to be. Left of the political center in the U.S. as a whole? Yes. Open-minded and ahead of the curve? Bwahaha.
Feb. 25th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
Those fuckers.

It always sickens me that the people who "protect" marriage and fetuses and the right to kill prisoners are also the very first ones who will whip out unbelievable amounts of bald-faced hate when given the chance.

I have no idea how these idiots reconcile their "faith" with the horrible things that come out of their mouth, or the awful things that some of them do to other people.

I am sorry. :(
Feb. 25th, 2009 04:26 pm (UTC)
I hope it's OK with you that I've linked to both this post and your post on Pam's House Blend, and unlocked it. People need to read this stuff, and I wanted also to share it with a few non-LJ friends (including the one who has already praised you highly).
Feb. 25th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
Go right ahead
People need to understand what's going on, what has been going on for years.

The problem with trying to secure equal protections for queer families is that we have no central nervous system. We have no pastors, no corporate hate sponsors, no one standing up every week and telling our friends and families, "You must vote for/submit testimony in support of/march for this." We're the polar opposite of the christian hate machine.

Our campaigning is done privately, in small steps, coming out to one person, one friend, one family member at a time, and pleading with them to actively help us. Sometimes they do, such as my local friends Shanon and Colleen. Most of the time, they give us every "dog ate my homework" excuse under the sun. "Yeah, sure, I support you, but I thought you already had this. I want to help, but I have to work, I have my kids, blah blah blah." They don't campaign against us, but they don't stand up for us either. They don't hold signs on the side of the road, they don't speak up against their coworkers who are making dead fag jokes. They aren't personally affected by it, so they don't care enough to ACTIVELY HELP.

We need every teaspoon we can get, because we're up against a well-funded tanker here. That's how it's always been.
Feb. 25th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Go right ahead
I will very likely be unemployed in a few weeks. The only volunteering I've done in recent years, other than an ill-fated stint at the Humane Society (long story), has been at Planned Parenthood. But their need for people to do data entry and other behind-the-scenes stuff ("not a people person" doesn't even begin to describe me) has wound down since the election.

I should see if the LGBT orgs in New Hampshire need any such assistance.

Incidentally, I love your new icon, but where is it from?

Edited at 2009-02-25 05:42 pm (UTC)
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)
Re: Go right ahead
Oh hell, I have no idea. It's Eowyn, and I ganked it from somewhere a few years ago.

New Hampshire is trying to get actual marriage legislation passed. I'll send you the contact info for the folks up there. I'm sure they'd appreciate the help, and could possibly even hook you up with a new job. Are you going to be okay financially? Do you qualify for unemployment?
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Go right ahead
I should be OK financially, at least initially. I'm an assiduous saver, and I've got a tax refund coming to me. And, yes, being employed in Massachusetts, I should be eligible for unemployment benefits.

It's the psychological aspects of being idle that are hardest for me, especially as I worry about whether in the long run I will be able to keep my house. I love my neighborhood, I love my house, I love the cat that I was able to adopt by virtue of having my own house. I have no idea what federal policies might be put in place to help homeowners such as myself — people with good credit who bought a place they could afford with a fixed-rate mortgage but who are having trouble finding work. All I can really do is put it out of my mind for now and concentrate on keeping an eye out for jobs and otherwise staying busy.

Please do send me the information. If I can find a job out of the volunteer work, though, that will be just a bonus. I've gotten to the stage in my life where I want to give back, not simply give and take. Like I said, I'm not good in person with people, but I really don't mind doing any number of tasks others might consider "tedious." I was bowled over by PP's gratitude for me just spending two or three hours a weekend plugging numbers into a database. To me, that's easy. Going door to door is hard.
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
I love you just the way you are. And I'm sure you have more friends that love you. So screw the picketters their opinion of you should not be important to you.
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
That's just horrific. I'm so sorry.
Feb. 25th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Urgh. That much concentrated hatred and fear and ignorance and bigotry... I'm sorry you had to sit through that. I'm sorry so many human beings are so eager to declare entire other groups as less than human.

I'm sorry the only thing I can do to help is to sit here and read and offer meager verbal support or donate to a site. I wish I could do more.
Feb. 25th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
I applaud your bravery in facing down these cunts. They're not Christians, they're hate-filled bigots using the Bible to justify their hatred.
Feb. 25th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
on your side...
I watched the last several hours when I realized it was being broadcast live. As someone who supports you 100%, I am finding myself wondering more and more why I choose to associate myself with these people who call themselves Christians...the scary part is that the other 95% of the time (going about their daily lives) these people are nothing like what I witnessed on my television last night. I could go on and on but I am trying to keep my personal spiritual beliefs out of this because I know that what they are ranting about is NOT my view of what it means to call myself a christian...

-Shanon S.
Feb. 26th, 2009 04:07 am (UTC)
Re: on your side...
I know not all christians are like that, hun. My mom, for example, and Lira, and dozens of other friends of mine truly do try to emulate the teachings of that long-haired, radical, socialist Jew! It never ceases to amaze me how something supposed to be about love gets skewed into such venomous hate. And I try very hard to forgive them, but when I'm being called a rapist, a pedophile, a criminal, that I should be killed, that I'm a threat to the country...well, it's impossible for my poor little mortal brain to manage right now.

Thank you so much for supporting us, and for submitting testimony. Obviously, it didn't do a lot of good for the committee, not that we figured it would, but EVERY VOICE IS NEEDED. EVERY VOICE HELPS.
Feb. 25th, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC)
You should have called 911. What those guys were doing was illegal (threats and intimidation). They would have been arrested for disorderly conduct, which constitutes a violation. I am surprised it never occurred to you.
Feb. 26th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
Um, probably because she was shocked and upset and she didn't think to.

Are you going to blame her now for "letting them get away with it"?
Feb. 26th, 2009 10:06 am (UTC)
Ok - Been there, done that. The cops wouldn't have done jack, diddly, or shit. Lived in Wahiawa, where white = don't belong. I spent our entire time there locked inside.

Who gave me these shoes, and how teh FUCK did I get out of the kitchen!?

Keori will remember the time that the babysitter hurt my son, and the cops screamed at us for holding him off with a dagger and a sword. The guy had a hundred pounds, a black belt, and a psychotic break on us.

Same type of cops that yell at women like me for LETTING my husband beat me.
Feb. 26th, 2009 11:09 pm (UTC)
I don't blame her at all. Just saying that this is what she should have done.
Feb. 26th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
Hey, keori! Aren't you awfully glad that some mayyyyunnnn whom none of us know from Adam has shown up on your thread — in which you talk about having put up with more shit in a day than most of us should put up with in a year — to inform your inferior girly self on what you should have done in that situation? And without a word of sympathy or empathy for you?

Gosh, I'm so glad that big smart menz like tomindar are out there on the intarbuttz, making sure that us gurlz feel bad about having, oh, I don't know, BEEN TOO FUCKING OVERWHELMED AND SCARED AND TIRED AND IN PAIN TO HAVE DONE WHAT THEY THINK WE SHOULD HAVE DONE.

BTW, tomindar, that's your cue to go die in a fucking fire now.
Feb. 26th, 2009 04:10 am (UTC)
Who are you, how did you get here, and how big are you? Because the next time you are faced with three guys all twice your size, and a mob of strangers willing to throw you to the wolves, YOU can call 911 to your heart's content. I'll help you pick up the pieces of both your phone and your face when it's all done.
Feb. 26th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)
Bedtime. Or phone tiem.
Feb. 26th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
Obviously you are an immigrant from a foreign country. In this country, the police are on the side of the victim, not on the side of the attacker.

By the way, you were stupid to assume that the crowd was not on your side. I am sure the people were upset by what those homophobes did but were afraid. In case of a confrontation the crowd would have been on your side. You are just stupid.
Feb. 26th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
In this country, the police are on the side of the victim, not on the side of the attacker.

"In this country"? Um, going by your journal and profile, honey, you're Russian.

As for your statement, no, the police are not always on the side of the victim, unless of course you're (a) a white man, or (b) a white woman who's been attacked by someone other than a white man. I could Google countless links for you, but you're an asshole troll and I can't be bothered to do more than insult your lame, LOOKITMELOOKITMELOOKIT ME GIMME ATTENTION!!! ass.

I am sure the people were upset by what those homophobes did but were afraid. In case of a confrontation the crowd would have been on your side.

Yep, definitely a white dude who honestly thinks that the world is a fair, level playing field.

You are just stupid.

And, as typical of your ilk, more projection than an IMAX.
Feb. 27th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
You can go bye-bye now, fuckface. I don't know from under which rock your carcass emerged, and I don't care. You don't tell me how to feel, what to think, or how to react when I'm in a situation where I am outnumbered AT LEAST 3 to 1 against adversaries who all outweigh me by a hundred pounds, wrapped in a flag and carrying the cross, backed up by an at best apathetic crowd of bystanders.

Obviously you are an immigrant from the village of Straight White Male Privilegeville. Obviously, they are missing an idiot.
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:02 am (UTC)
You'd be surprised, mate. And I don't think Keori's the stupid one here...
Mar. 3rd, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
In this country, the police are on the side of the victim, not on the side of the attacker.


That's a good one!
Feb. 27th, 2009 11:46 am (UTC)
And you should go screw yourself in a dark corner.
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
Aloha Keori--
You might want to read the stories and the comments posted at This is where I first heard about you. Here is the linked story

I'm Kevin-in-Honolulu. The short of my argument is - yes, the Red Shirts were intimidating, but we have some great support here. Joe's blog didn't show that and I took him to task. The fact that he dwelled a bit much on your encounter with the three men and not on the larger issue, and one where there is much broader support than ever before for our side, was upsetting.

He didn't include the House vote 34 for, 17 against. He didn't include the fact that the Senate will likely take this to the floor for a vote where it will likely pass. I lot of mis-information through ommission BY OUR SIDE.

I know that the incident you experienced was upsetting, but the larger picture is - We are winning this one. And stories should reflect that too.

And I want people around the world to know that. All educated people know that the arguments of the Red Shirts are total BS, but in a free society you have to allow that.

I hope we can meet sometime.

I don't have time to figure out the OpenID option - my blog is - you can google me and find my contact info.


Feb. 27th, 2009 01:21 am (UTC)
Re: Aloha Keori--
Joe picked this up? Holy shit.


Oh FFS. Must defuse. Thanks for the heads up.
Feb. 27th, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
Re: Aloha Keori--
I can't wait for that post you said last night that you were thinking about writing. There are definitely some types on that blog who need to see it.
Feb. 28th, 2009 09:09 am (UTC)
Wow you iz famous, m'lady, as you have every right to be :). Was thinking about you last night and *boom* here you are posting. Would be good to catch up. You still have my number?
Mar. 2nd, 2009 03:27 am (UTC)
Hang Strong, Sister
Yeah, same old tired shit. Not to mention playground bullies. Blah, blah, blah. I have nothing to offer you but my belief that you are doing the right thing and fighting for all of us. Some days I can hope that the passing of proposition 8 will be the turning point, when we all stand up and say "no more." It's nice to ease the pain and dissociation.
Mar. 2nd, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
Re: Hang Strong, Sister
Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it.

Since you're a non-lj user, mind leaving me an online handle, or a name I might know you by?
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )

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